A nothing day full of / wild beauty

and it's only tuesday!

2009-01-20T08:26:00.002-05:00

the year is off to a good start, no?

evie is four. beans is somewhat calm. i saw my first ever NHL game--rangers v blackhawks in chicago. jeremy and i are getting married. there's a new president as of this afternoon.

how many "when hell freezes over" benchmarks are we breaking already?

angela engaged, check.
minority president, check.
the dog, calm, check check.

happy happy joy joy!

monday, monday

2009-01-12T17:09:00.002-05:00

i'm thinking about evie, about evie being born and evie wrapped in a small flannel blanket tucked into the crook of my arm while i sat on the couch of the old house on allen and watched the inaugration of GWB. she was less than a month old, and even in that moment i remembered sobbing at nearly 9 months pregnant, so full of defeat and disappointment when john kerry didn't win. to be fair, it isn't as though i was excited about john kerry. i had just seen a third friend off to the war in iraq and i couldn't vote for anyone who wanted to prolong it.

so there i was, on the couch and pregnant and in great pain after having taken a tumble down some steps while conducting election endorsement work with a non-profit, sobbing because i could not believe i could work so hard and lose. and then, a few months later, little evie snoring and me watching and telling her i couldn't believe her first four years would be like this, with this man.

i don't want to forget it. i don't want to become lazy and complacent just because the best of the bunch won. if anything, we've got to try harder now, right? if there's a lesson here. it's the same it was when the vote was certified for GWB in 2000: don't get cocky. you lose when you get cocky (see: Manny Ramirez, unable to secure MLB contract this off-season.)

obama has what they call, in the NBA, "tremendous upside potential." but it's out job, isn't it, to stay on his ass and get him there the way i imagine izzo did with the flintstones.

so that's it, that's my thought: let's all be obama's izzo. let's push him to win it all, not just to bask in what is an undeniably lovely narrative with a lovely first act ending.

just to be clear

2009-01-05T10:07:00.002-05:00

i don't want tax cuts, obama. i want you to forgive all student loan debts. ALL.

how much would that cost, compared to 300 billion in tax cuts? (that number may be wrong, my coffee buzz is waning and i don't feel like checking my sources. the irony, i know.)

the year that was

2008-12-29T12:20:00.001-05:00

1) Where did you begin 2008?
briarcliffe townhomes, jolly rd., with phil, lauren and avi

2) What was your status by Valentine's Day?
angry and ready to break things.

3) Were you in school anytime this year?
just schoolin' fools.

4) How did you earn your money?
hustlin'. ok, reporting, editing, etc.

5) Did you have to go to the hospital?
just for evie's stick-to-the-eye incident. phew.

6) Did you have any encounters with the police?
nope.

7) Would you relive 2008 over and over again?
no. that's what my steeltrap memory is for.

8) What did you purchase that was over $1000?
actually, nothing. i am poor.

9) Did you know anybody who got married?
scott and debbie, peter and randi.

10) Did you know anybody who passed away?
yes.

11) Did you know anyone who had a baby?
lots! but none more important than baby k :)

12) Did you move anywhere?
i moved like it's my fucking hobby. except i hate it, and i suck at it. the boxes give me hives, i never pack, etc.

13) What concerts/shows did you go to?
just tigers games.

14) Are you registered to vote?
since 2000, yo.

15) Do you still have the same job as you did in 2007?
essentially, yes.

16) Has anyone betrayed you in 2008?
yes. but i'm not mad about it. i would hate to be a person that sad and delusional and desperate to do what she did to me. luckily i don't have to be. she does.

17) Where do you live now?
in the present.

18) Describe your birthday (week)?
there was a great poetry reading the night before my birthday. amanda and barb were there, and mags and ben and ells. it was the best!

19) What's one thing you thought you'd never do but did in 2008?
let go.

20) What has been your favorite moment?
my favorite moment was when all the girls came to my house. i had all the important women friends in my life, from elementary school to present, and mikey there. it was a great weekend. (i agree...amanda's house, june.)

21) What's something you learned about yourself?
i can hit for power.

22) Any new additions to your family?
in march there will be.

23) What was your best month?
hm. no best months, but i'd say monday and thursday nights from the end of april through the end of october were pretty grand.

24) Were you in a relationship this year?
this is a hard question. let's talk about it over coffee.

25) What music will you remember 2008 by?
'read my mind', the killers; 'fire and rain', james taylor; 'karma chameleon', boy george.

26) Who has been your best drinking buddy/buddies?
debbie!

27) New friend?
kyle wins.

28) Favorite night out?
i'd have to say brannigan bros. with mags and ben and the work crowd. awesome.

29) Would you say you've changed since the beginning of this year?
yes. a helluva lot. and i like it.

30) Do you think 2009 will be better or worse?
like the lions'record, it can only get better.

won't you look down upon me jesus, you gotta help me make a stand

2008-12-14T15:29:00.000-05:00

signs angela is itchy for softball

2008-12-14T15:05:00.002-05:00

In the Sounds of the Game video, Detroit manager Sparky Anderson was seen in the dugout, yelling at Gibson, "He don't want to walk you!" and making a bat-swinging motion with his hands, the universal baseball gesture for "swing away." Gibson got the message, and launched Gossage's next pitch deep into Tiger Stadium's right field upper deck for a three-run homer, icing the game and the Series for the Tigers.

thank you, kirk gibson's wikipedia page.

songs i loved as a child, pt. 1

2008-12-14T14:31:00.002-05:00

heart, "alone"

wikipedia reminds me "alone" was released as a single in May, 1987, which meant i'd have just turned seven. and, i know, was listening to heart.

i remember being confused by the lyrics..."how do i get you alone?" now, my friends, i understand heart was working with what we call "multiple layers of meaning." how can i be with you if i want to be alone, how can i get you to be alone enough to be with me, etc. brilliant. sort of.

but the memory i associate most with this song (besides the sweet video and the "i'm rocking this guitar balls out but not really" interlude) is taping it from the radio. i don't know if i was taping that afternoon in the pink room i shared with my sister because i knew kirk gibson was going to be on the radio, or because i heard a song i liked.

at any rate, what i ended up with was "alone," with kirk gibson calling into the radio show just afterwards. now i can't hear this song without thinking of gibby, in his youth, the de facto leader of the tigers. the irony: i bet he HATES this song!

time waster..."House of Cards"

2008-12-11T17:06:00.002-05:00

Directions:
1. Put your iPod, iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
"Silver Lining", Riko Kiley

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
"Soft Revolution", STARS

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Drive On, Driver", The Magnetic Fields

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"The Woods", STARS

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"Summer Skin", Death Cab for Cutie

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"My Girl", The Four Tops

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"You Know I'm No Good", Amy Winehouse

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Just One More Day", Otis Redding

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Iron and Wine", The Postal Service

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
"Hide and Seek", Imogen Heap

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Come to Me", Koop

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"It's All Over Now, Baby Blue", Bob Dylan

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Tonight I Have to Leave It", Shout Out Louds

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"It's Over", The Fire Theft

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Guess Things Happen That Way", Johnny Cash

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Midnight Hour", Wilson Pickett

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Hurry Up Let's GO" Shout Out Louds

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
"Piece of My Heart", The Killers

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Rue St. Vincent"

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Josephine", Tori Amos

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
"House of Cards", Radiohead

because i should be in bed

2008-12-03T23:26:00.002-05:00

quick hits:

sean avery has ascended to a new level of punk. poor brett hull (le sigh) for sticking his neck out.

plaxico burress, wtf were you thinking? wasn't there a safety on that gun?

no news about joel zumaya is good news.

charlie weis scares me. that is all.

memo, re: thanksgiving

2008-11-19T20:04:00.002-05:00

saturday evening special

2008-11-15T17:52:00.002-05:00

Do you think you are pregnant?
no. i do not. do you think i am pregnant?

If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?
baseball season.

You have to get a facial piercing, what do you get?
i have the nose...can that count? i don't want another.

You have to get a tattoo, where and what do you get?
something delicate and not as painful as the last one ;)

When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug?
yesterday?

Have you ever touched an elephant?
possibly. i'd much rather hug a penguin tho.

Plans for tomorrow?
worky worky worky.

Is anything wrong?
not particularly. except that there is something freakish and perhaps alien living in my ceiling.

Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
indeed.

Are your friends taller than you?
everyone is taller than me.

What were you doing at 5:30 this morning?
dreaming.

What were you doing 2 hours ago?
hitting the ceiling with a broom.

Do you like the ocean?
in theory.

How many windows are open on your computer?
one window, many many tabs.

Was the first person you talked to today male or female?
male.

Do you know anyone named Matt?
yes.

What color is your hair?
brown.

Do you wear glasses?
constantly.

Are you currently jealous?
no.

Have you ever in anyway, been betrayed by someone you trust?
see: april 2008.

Would you rather go to Greece or Hawaii?
greece.

Last time you worked out?
does walking count? then yesterday. if not, whenever the last soccer game was.

Did you have a good birthday this year?
meh. the night before my birthday was grand.

Could you cry right now?
if i had to, i suppose.

Are you a jealous person?
not particularly.

Ever go camping?
yes, but not in a while. i'd love to make time for it this spring.

Are you someones best friend?
i hope so!

Does anyone hate you?
maybe. but, as kanye would say, "take that....HATASSSSSSS."

If your best friend liked your ex, what would you say?
hahahahahahaaaaaa. you know why this is funny.

Who's the biggest bitch you know?
being a bitch isn't a bad thing.

Laughed until you almost cried?
wednesday, with ells and mags and ben, debbie, becky, et al.

you do the math

2008-11-09T11:49:00.002-05:00

luckily the brits already did.

the top ten most irritating phrases....(drumroll, please)

The top ten most irritating phrases:

1 - At the end of the day

2 - Fairly unique

3 - I personally

4 - At this moment in time

5 - With all due respect

6 - Absolutely

7 - It's a nightmare

8 - Shouldn't of

9 - 24/7

10 - It's not rocket science

what campaign reporting and porn have in common

2008-11-02T14:19:00.000-05:00

from michael hasting's stupendous GQ article:

It occurred to me, as I sat there watching an interracial couple banging, that jacking off in a hotel room was not unlike the larger experience of campaign reporting. You watch two performers. You kind of like it when one of them gets humiliated. You know they’re professionals, so you don’t feel much sympathy for them. You wish you could participate, but instead you watch with a hidden envy and feel vaguely ashamed for watching. You think you could probably do as good a job or better. You sometimes get a glimpse, intentionally or not, of society’s hidden desires and fears. You watch the porn week after week, the scenes almost always the same, none of them too memorable. The best ones get sent around the Internet.

perfect.

you are my sunshine

2008-10-25T20:54:00.002-04:00

evie wanted to sleep in my bed and "look at the stars" before night-time song fun tonight. by look at the stars, she meant look at the glow-in-the-dark sticker that are on the ceiling.

at the same time i let her request songs.

along with the standards--"twinkle, twinkle little star", "the itsy-bitsy spider" and "the wheels on the bus"--she requested:

"fire and rain", james taylor
"someday god's gonna cut you down", johnny cash ("mom, he means god's going to cut down your tree")
"you are my sunshine", johnny cash & bob dylan

touching, swoon-tastic moment of the year: evie sang me her own version of "sunshine":

you are my mommy
my only mommy
you make me happy
when skies are blue
you'll never know dear
how much i love you
please don't take my mommy away

she then sang a song about seeing stars that are pointed like diamonds and holding them in her hands, and another about a door that opens and shuts in the sky.

i am lucky.

and now for something new

2008-10-25T20:37:00.001-04:00

can't stop listening.

bad office romance

2008-10-07T10:54:00.002-04:00

the bad office romance playlist. i love npr.

you know, in the military, when your boss comes onto you, they get court-martialed.

anyway. you know who i mean.

wink wink, nod nod, sometimes karma takes too damn long.

this is just unreal

2008-10-03T11:05:00.000-04:00

are you kidding me? i mean, really, really kidding me? i am supposed to take this woman seriously?

Sarah Palin exceeds expectations -- and still loses | Salon News

And the way she -- not Biden -- brought up his wife, Jill. "I know education you are passionate about with your wife being a teacher for 30 years, and God bless her," Palin said. "Her reward is in heaven, right?" (That was followed immediately by Palin giving "a shout out" to her brother's elementary school students.)

answer to obama attack ad

2008-10-02T12:15:00.003-04:00

here's the attack ad:

here's what the obama campaign should answer with:

sarah palin no speak-y the english

2008-10-02T12:00:00.002-04:00

i don't know how my friend tim does it, but by the time i am just beginning to get my brain going, he has already read, digested and eloquently blogged all things of interest to me.

so it was one of tim's recent posts that turned me on to this slate.com article about trying to diagram sarah palin's sentences.

remember the charlie gibson interview, wherein he asked a question, she babbled, and he said something like, i'm sorry did you answer the question? i just heard a bunch of words...

bush in a skirt, indeed.

says the author, kitty burns florey:

To me, it's not English—it's a collection of words strung together to elicit a reaction, floating ands and prepositional phrases ("with that vote of the American people") be damned. It requires not a diagram but a selection of push-buttons.

and:

Yet surely, more than most of us, politicians need to be able to think on their feet, to have a brain that works quickly and rationally under pressure. Do we really want to be led by someone who, when asked a straightforward question, flails around like an undergraduate who stayed up all night boozing instead of studying for the exam?

touche.

i'd like to have a contest where we all have a mock debate, wherein we answer the same questions as the candidates. the winner will be the contestant who actually answers the questions. clearly. deductions will be taken for any "well, yes and no..." responses.

political drinking games

2008-10-02T09:29:00.003-04:00

i read a lot of news. sometimes i write news. i listen to news and watch it, too. and it seems every politician says the same thing. so let's start keeping score...here's what i hear all the time:

1. "Doing nothing is not an option."
2. "She's a heartbeat away from the presidency."
3. "Moving (insert state/ country/ company name here) forward."

i know i am missing some...so help me out :)

amen brother.

2008-09-30T11:52:00.002-04:00

tim of short schrift points out how misleading it is for the mccain campaign to run their "obama agrees with john" ads.

not that this is a "news flash" type moment of shock and awe--THEY LIED????--but the deconstruction is a worthwhile read.

And it's ridiculous to show these clips of Obama saying he agrees with McCain without even referring to the fact that the apparent agreement is part of a strategy to show the absurdity of McCain's logic. Every time Obama ducks McCain's punch to "agree," he comes back with a disagreeable shot to the jaw. And for people who watched the entire debate, it worked.

High fucking five.

god is like jay-z

2008-09-18T09:19:00.002-04:00

this is fucking fantastic. margaret cho is striking back against the evangelicals / christian right, and it is stupendous.

the whole blog entry is here, my favorite part is below:

God wants us all to just get along. He doesn’t give a shit about the profanity. The bitch fucking invented profanity. He thinks it is hilarious. He just wants you to talk to him, and he doesn’t care what you have to say. He just wants to keep the conversation going. Like Jay-Z, he just wants to love you.

overheard on the chris matthews show

2008-09-14T10:12:00.003-04:00

"you know, ronald reagan was a master of sticking the shiv in with humor."

obama needs to be more like reagan? hmmmm.

you have to be fucking kidding me

2008-09-12T18:55:00.001-04:00

joel zumaya is hurt. again.

maybe the pope can bless his right arm.

you won't find a better loser

2008-09-06T14:29:00.002-04:00

Bell bottom blues, don’t say goodbye.
I’m sure we’re gonna meet again,
And if we do, don’t you be surprised
If you find me with another lover.

what a fucking 24 hours.

because hockey will be starting soon

2008-09-05T12:05:00.001-04:00

AFTER DRAWING THE KING OF CUPS

1.
I am watching the hockey game
on local television

Mickey Redmond has slowed the game
into a surreal frame-by-frame
breakdown
of Brett Hull’s famous wrist shot.

It is like hearing
through water
the image coming
in slow waves of action.

"Just like a bow and arrow when Brett Hull leans into her," he says
of the stick
its long wooden shaft
arched as a dolphin.

2.
Skating on ice has always felt to me like walking on water.

3.
What woman wouldn’t love
a man like that
a man whose movement
is more than fluid
a man who would bend even Diana back and tell her
voice the scratch of fins through ocean
"Look at the moon."

in the name of baseball and bobby higginson

2008-08-31T15:50:00.003-04:00

my extensive research (read: google) (compiled for baseball love poems) led me to this gem:

"Hitting is all muscle memory," says Higginson . "Your mind absorbs things and transmits them to your muscles." He thinks he may have learned that in Psych 101. "It definitely wasn't in calculus," he says.

and another, from the same article:

"I'd rather throw out a guy at home than hit a home run," says Higginson , who has done that seven times in the last two seasons. "Nail a guy at the plate, and all the momentum swings to your side."

oh, higgy, where are you now? probably fat and balding and knocking up another stripper. becoming an anti-legend.

woot! / what i did last week

2008-08-27T16:13:00.001-04:00

I was working on a story with Kyle, my boss at MIRS/softball coach, who just happens to rule. And write well. And rule.

Here's the article; "THOUGHTS from the MIND" are always welcome.

this is how you beat john mccain

2008-08-21T17:30:00.001-04:00

(i only wish i could take credit for it)

from tim, the brilliant man about philly who really should be hired at the new york times or the inquirer. seriously.

remember the swiftboat smear? this is what john kerry should have done. now obama, and his ninny-pants handlers, need to buck up and say "that's a lie, stop lying, you old old crazy man."

this is point number one:

Give a speech specifically about McCain. Attack everything that voters think they know about him, every perceived strength. Begin by telling America, "If you think you're voting for John McCain who ran for President against George Bush in 2000, you're wrong." Detail every backtrack McCain has made, every position he's reversed himself on, every move he's made to cozy up with the Bush administration, the Republican-led congress, and the base of his party. Attribute it to a combination of ambition and delusion. Call him by his first name whenever possible.

click the pretty link above and read the rest yourself.

you won't regret it.

i stand corrected, saving is for the 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th innings

2008-08-10T12:32:00.003-04:00

jim caple on the "closer", the overrated importance of said position, and how it is ruining baseball:

The save is the only situation in which a manager makes his decisions based on a statistic rather than what makes the most competitive sense for his team. The only comparable is when a manager stays with a struggling starter with a big lead so he can get through the fifth inning and qualify for a win, but this occurs rarely. Managers, however, routinely bring in their closers just because it is a "save situation" rather than a situation in which the opponent is truly threatening. It's ridiculous. Managers feel the need to please their closers -- and their closer's agents -- by getting them cheap saves to pad their stats and their bank accounts.

so, as an addendum to my "how to fix the tigers" plan: after you make the DH a speedy guy hitting sixth, you (as caple points out) bring your best pitcher in not in the 9th, but in the 7th.

who would that be for the tigers? rodney (i hate myself for saying this) performs better in the 7th or 8th innings. he pitched three great innings against the white sox, and might be detroit's best hope for a "long reliever". as in, the guy who can come in when the starter gets shelled. he also seems to improve the longer he's out there.

todd jones might also fare better in a less specialized role. it couldn't hurt his nervousness, sweating, ulcerificness. (yes, i just made up a new word.)

bobby seay is steady. he's built for middle innings. zumaya is best in the 8th, and can then pitch the 9th as well.

while i am guilty of loving the WWF-style theatrics of closers and entrance music, and a dominating 9th inning guy, i want the tigers back in the world series. and i want them to win it. the only way i can see that happening is if they change the rules--stop playing the way everyone else does. shut your opponents down in the 7th.

be the equivalent of boise state football a few years ago, or the red wings when scotty bowman first introduced the left-wing lock. jim leyland is a bit of a baseball historian--he can do this. right?

baseball love poems preview #3

2008-08-08T13:59:00.001-04:00

SIX THINGS

for Tim, suggesting I make a list of ten things I truly believe

I believe in Bobby Higginson

the working class hero

my father who rises every morning

before it is morning

to hurl watt after watt like lightning bolts

from the open blisters of his palms.

I believe in being five

my father teaching me to throw

in the backyard/ our house on Crescent Avenue:

sidearm

hard

almost no arc on the ball

watched it tail

as a ten inch comet

to my father’s open mitt.

I believe in drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon

between innings

bruise like a lunar eclipse on one thigh

being knocked unconscious

waking with the ball still in my glove.

I believe in protecting the plate.

I believe in falling in love

with baseball players:

the way a man’s quadriceps change

when he is crouched behind the plate

the certain perfection of a

fundamentally sound swing

the feathery gradations infield dirt makes

on home jerseys;

the way a man watching a ball

orbit

into the upper deck of right field

arms stretched

bat as an arrow

seems ready

to impale the stars.

I believe in the light

created by a hundred-mile-an-hour fastball

Zumaya hurling pitches

that pass in a blur of seams

red giant:

flames flaring up one wrist.

baseball love poems preview #2

2008-08-08T13:56:00.001-04:00

FOR THE FOXY REPUBLICAN WHO TELLS ME I HAVE A REAL HOMERUN SWING

I'm

not

trying

to score.

Just

connect.

baseball love poems preview

2008-08-08T13:53:00.002-04:00

a few drafts in progress from the baseball love poems book, also in progress.

SWING AWAY

This pitch is high, but I don't like called third strikes. This pitch is high, but it will carry. This pitch is high and I know I need to swing

I will wait on it because I can wait anything out if I think I will win

and I think of Jim Leyland saying the sound of the ball coming off the bat of a great hitter is distinct and pure

I imagine like middle C on the piano

and I think of Mike Piazza saying broken bats are the most beautiful music he's known

and I think of a woman I knew and a man I loved and wonder what they're doing in my old bed at my old house

and I think of choking up but decide not to because I hate being told to choke up

and I think the third baseman is tall and lean like young Johnny Cash

and I think of the sweet spot and Sweet Lou and how the porta-johns on the Little League diamonds always smelled like giant Sweet Tarts

and I think of my friend who told me

The Tigers are the Tigers. But the game is real, Angela,

and the game is as beautiful as Lou Whitaker's right arm.

Find a bat that feels right, tap it twice against each cleat, and swing.

and I think of Bobby Higginson and wish I had a great beard or a mouthful of chewing gum or heavy metal music playing when I walked into the batter's box

and I think I still have to wait

and I think they're playing me shallow and I think I will burn them each in their red jerseys

and I think I hear the left fielder say she's gonna swing but I'm not hearing it right

I'm singing and I'm rounding first

and I'm singing and I'm standing on second with my hands on my hips and dirt across my cleats and

the only thing I can remember is the sound

of a tolling church bell and relief and Swing Low Sweet Chariot.

Batman is Catholic!

2008-08-07T10:43:00.003-04:00

well, a friend writing over at the Counterfictionals blog seems to think so.

check it out here.

silver fox

2008-08-07T01:09:00.004-04:00

i just have to say...i just saw this photo as part of the lead story on espn.com

why is brett farve so much more attractive when we can see his gray hair, beard, and smile?

great hair.

jim leyland, can you hear me?

2008-08-05T22:47:00.002-04:00

yes, he can!

only a day after i posted about my fixes for the tigers, one big change has already come through.

from today's Detroit News:

Tigers name Zumaya closer

Tom Gage / The Detroit News

CHICAGO -- It might last one game, it could last longer and, who knows, if he pitches well it could be permanent but Joel Zumaya was moved to the closer's role for the Tigers' game Tuesday night against the White Sox.
"If we have a lead in the ninth inning, that's who will pitch," manager Jim Leyland said, after finding out that Zumaya's recurring arm discomfort is no longer an issue.
"He's fine."

***

i would have embedded the link, but i'm working on a mac, and i cannot make it cut and paste for me. so. technology 1, angela 0.

if Zumaya starts to rock the knee socks, i might pass out.

This is how you fix the Tigers

2008-08-04T12:49:00.000-04:00

I say bench anyone who is hitting less than .250 with RISP.

Of the regular players, that means these guys will sit: Pudge Rodriguez, Brandon Inge, Gary Sheffield, and Marcus Thames. Also knocks out minor-major player Clete Thomas.

Pudge, having been traded, is no longer an issue. Inge has to be in the lineup as the everyday catcher, and that I am fine with. Hit him ninth and convert him to an NL-style hitter. Make him bunt. Bring back the drag bunt, try the softball-style slap-bunt, just make him get on base. In fact, this is the perfect time to teach him about plate patience. Essentially, I don't care what he does in the box, as long as it isn't striking out. I want him to be on base when Granderson comes up, and I want him to be prepared to run fast. Sheffield, either compete for a position, or retire. Leyland doesn't even have the option of throwing him into left at this point; that shoulder has had how many surgeries in the last five years? Marcus Thames should then be switched to the everyday DH. I am confident his BA with RISP will rise when he gets more at-bats, more consistently. If he isn't effective, send him out for some prospects.

Clete Thomas is a youngin' who should be competing with Matt Joyce for an everyday spot, say, left field. Thomas has an incredible amount of plate patience (two bases-loaded, two-out, two-strike walks in one game), and Joyce has power. Let them fight it out, and rotate them until you decide. Or, if Thames doesn't perform, try this: let Thomas become the everyday DH. Hit him sixth. Make him a scrappy guy who just gets on base. The DH shouldn't be pigeon-holed as an aging power guy with bad knees and shoulders. Mix it up a little bit. If Tony LaRussa can hit his pitchers eighth, why can't Leyland reimagine the role of the DH?

Here's what else you do: you reward Brandon Inge's loyalty (well, loyalty and the fact that Dombrowski couldn't trade him) by anointing him Leyland's guy. Tell him to own the effing team. Call the game with no signals from the bench. Be the Steve Yzerman, the quiet power. Hell, be the holy terror, but take control of this team. I don't see Ordonez or Guillen doing it; be the Wyatt Earp, Brandon.

Cut Fernando Rodney. Immediately. Tell Zumaya he'll be the closer in spring training provided he starts mixing his pitches. If Inge comes along as the catcher you don't shake off, Zumaya will continue to improve. Chalk Farnsworth up as the guy who unloaded Pudge's contract. Nothing more.

Don't bank on Dontrelle Willis coming back as a starter. Have him practice middle-relief in some bullpen sessions with Chuck Hernandez. If nothing else, it'll force him to think about what he's throwing and improving his pitch location if he does come back as a starter.

Why are we getting smacked around by teams like Minny and Tampa Bay? Easy. They scrap. TB had less hits than us in the second game but won. We had 11 hits and lost. Take a cue from Minny and drill the hell out of situational hitting in batting practice. If your batters are mentally lazy, tell them to stay home.

Most importantly, hire me as your bench coach. I'll swear and take smoke breaks with Leyland. I'll do it for 50K. I'll wear cleats in the dugout. I just won't chew tobacco.

mystery solved, scooby gang

2008-08-04T08:30:00.002-04:00

the reason fernando rodney wasn't traded at the deadline...because we wouldn't have gotten anything for him anyway!

may as well cut him, and it looks like that blessed, most holy of days is FINALLY here.

praise Leyland. may he have the strength to do what is right and just.

pig number two, same story

2008-08-02T10:47:00.001-04:00

i wish i lived in battle creek

2008-07-30T11:21:00.003-04:00

for this reason (from today's battle creek enquirer):

Time to enforce drain code

First the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality allowed sewage to be discharged into Rice Creek, now the State and Indian drains at Duck Lake. Soon it will be every drain in the state. The drain commissioner must fight to stop the discharge of sewage into the drainage system.

The drain code specifically states, Sec.423: (1) An entity shall not continue to discharge or permit to be discharged into any county drain or inter county drain of the state any sewage or waste matter capable of producing in the drain detrimental deposits, objectionable odor nuisance, injury to drainage conduits or structures, or capable of producing such pollution of the waters of the state receiving the flow from the drains as to injure livestock, destroy fish life or be injurious to public health.

I can guarantee you the sewage being discharged into our drains, rivers and streams will be detrimental to the entire state's above-ground water resources. I give the public my word I will enforce the drain code and stop the use of our drainage system as sewer conduits to Lake Michigan.

I need your help on Aug. 5.

Johnny Cash

Democratic candidate for Calhoun County drain commissioner

***

i wonder if his campaign is taking full advantage of his namesake. i would think, as a drain commission candidate, he could easily allude to "big river".

ben's chili bowl: a place for love...and chili

2008-07-30T09:43:00.001-04:00

probably not entirely safe for work, what with the sexual innuendo.

maggie and angela discuss cormac mccarthy's "the road"

2008-07-28T13:16:00.002-04:00

angela: i just want you to know that if the world ends and we're left alive, i will push a grocery cart on the road with you.

maggie: that's very nice. i'll carry the pistol.

song of the day

2008-07-23T11:24:00.000-04:00

"i'm a woman / can't you see what i am"

love it.

shark uterus?

2008-07-22T16:08:00.001-04:00

Pisces Horoscope for week of July 17, 2008

The uterus of a pregnant sand tiger shark is not exactly a peaceful sanctuary. Her eggs hatch in there well before she gives birth. Soon the multiple embryos begin a fight to the death. By the time the mother goes into labor, there's just one pup remaining. I suspect there's now a similar kind of survival-of-the-fittest struggle going on within the metaphorical womb of your imagination, Pisces. Several pretty good brainchildren are tussling for supremacy. Which one will defeat and eat the others and grow into maturity? I bet we'll find out soon.

the stuff epic heroes are made of

2008-07-20T22:56:00.003-04:00

joel zumaya is already in baseball love poems, but he's positioned to make himself the epic hero.

what are epic heroes made of? after reading this great write-up in ESPN: The Magazine, i'm thinking it's at least one part ingenuity:

Nothing had ever come easy for him, so why should baseball? His dad worked in construction, while mom Yvonne worked at Burger King. (Joel Jr., the oldest of three kids, taught himself to pitch with a ball made of electrical tape.)

there's something of Sisyphus in that, no? what about the maximus poems with zumaya instead?

is there something strange about a young lady so freaking obsessed with baseball? who knows, but if i could get a PhD in baseball poems, i'd be in line tomorrow. (because any decent school isn't open for admission at 11:10 pm on a sunday).

anyway, watch this:

this makes me happy

2008-07-17T12:07:00.002-04:00

from today's detroit free press:

The Tigers appear willing to include reliever Fernando Rodney in trade offers. The right-hander has been inconsistent since returning from the disabled list. ...
***
rodney was light's out in 2006, but now seems like he needs a change of scenery to check his ego (he's always been a signal-shaker) and listen to the catcher. honestly, i could almost see the yankees gunning for him. wise, maybe not, but funny, sure.

in the name of research

2008-07-11T10:01:00.001-04:00

i need your list of best sports/baseball nicknames.

thanks.

another new poem

2008-07-08T13:17:00.001-04:00

POEM FOR YOUR THIRD BIRTHDAY

If there is one thing

I give you,

let it be red.

Let it be the red of cayenne

toasting in the pan

the moment before Abuelita

adds the rice, red

of Johnny Cash growling

Rusty Cage, red

of tacky vinyl

purses, scabbed knees,

Frank O'Hara

talking to the sun

at Fire Island.

Let it be the red

of incorrect calculus

solutions, red

teeth of stealing home

on a passed ball, red

of The Martyrdom of St. Ursula,

c-sections, whiskey-rage,

drunken lovemaking,

battered pickup truck

at the end of the street

turning left.

where were you four years ago, maureen?

2008-07-06T20:29:00.003-04:00

from today's new york times:

“Never marry a man who has no friends,” he starts. “This usually means that he will be incapable of the intimacy that marriage demands. I am always amazed at the number of men I have counseled who have no friends. Since, as the Hebrew Scriptures say, ‘Iron shapes iron and friend shapes friend,’ what are his friends like?

ok, ok, it seemed like he had a lot of friends, but they weren't. really.

anyway. food for thought, kids.

I'd walk away like a movie star who gets burned in a three way script

2008-06-27T10:57:00.003-04:00

"if you could read my mind", a song i have loved on and off over the years (imagine that!) found me again this morning.

being so happy, so excited, so giggly again is strange. it is like meeting yourself again...for the first time. i'd forgotten what i was like. i like this me better.

but there's a touch (believe me, it is just a touch, like a spiderweb against your cheek)of melancholy. because the anger is gone. because i don't like failing. it is like waving goodbye to a steamship full of passengers you don't know from the shore. there's really no reason to feel you're going to miss them, but you do.

in honor of george carlin

2008-06-23T12:55:00.002-04:00

exorcism

2008-06-15T14:03:00.002-04:00

i had tea with diane thursday, and i told her of my rediscovery/reconnection with catholicism, its rituals and sacraments, its words: beatitude, novena, benediction.

she read the following poem, exorcism, to me. how lucky to find an audio link. enjoy.

***

	Diane Wakoski - Exorcism

	Found at bee mp3 search engine

pulling it all back in

2008-06-14T20:06:00.001-04:00

this blog is going private, kids. send me an email, and i'll add you to the list:)

out of africa

2008-06-13T23:36:00.002-04:00

listing--in the sense of making a list, not falling to one side

1. i watched out of africa last night
2. i may be in love with robert redford in that movie
3. his name in the film is dennis...not a good name.
4. just as i was beginning to bitch about tidy, happy endings, i watch a movie without one.
5. that's about right.
6. while wanting to shake meryl streep and ask her what the eff, i understand.
7. sometimes it's all about possession.
8. currently listening to: the bob dylan + johnny cash version of "big river".
9. that equals awesomeness.
10. sex and the city is on.
11. carrie. what a weakling.
12. i know. i have had my mr. big.
13. his name did not turn out to be named john, but maybe that was his middle name.
14. why did the show (and i assume the movie) end with them getting together?
15. doesn't that undermine the whole premise of the show?
16. john miller gave me the music (see #8) and i am elated to have been able to visit with him on my porch.
17. i love my/our (maggie's + ben's) porch.
18. 5 hours of tea yesterday with diane = just what i needed.
19. it only felt like 35 minutes.
20. joel zumaya is coming back.
21. the tigers have won four straight.
22. i received a credit as a MIRS writer in the book we're putting out.
23. evie comes back to me monday.
24. i can't wait to snuggle her.
25. i forgot how much i loved making lists.
26. i forgot how much i loved a lot of things.
27. i'm like a bird now. how lame. how true.
28. amanda taught me about lists.
29. it's nice to be excited again.
30. it's just as nice to have people around who have faith in you.
31. george cushingberry is still my favorite.
32. who says writing doesn't change anything?
33. song stuck in my head: that 'africa' song.
34. someone told me today 'toto' sings it.
35. must have been rita. she has the best iTunes.
36. i'm going to finish my book tonight--'last night at the lobster'.
37. bob dylan + johnny cash(singing 'you are my sunshine') = i can feel little evie against my chest, and i miss her so much/ am so exaltant just thinking of her, i could explode.
38. mirriam-webester, and google spell check, say exaltant isn't a word.
39. words are like math. see # 37.
40. my coach gave me the game ball from monday. i think my parents are proud.
41. this is a good place to stop.

dear last night's double

2008-06-10T12:04:00.000-04:00

when I hit you out of the infield in the bottom of the final inning, one out, the score tied, and saw the center fielder having trouble with you, I wanted to send you this text message:

"I'm the luckiest man in the world right now."

and then, trying so hard to sleep, all I could see was the arc of the pitch leaving the pitcher's hand, remembered taking a deep breath, noting that the pitch was a bit high, exhaled slowly like Ralph macchio in karate kid (both one and two), and swung away.

now I will climb out of bed to send you this:

"I'm going to bed, but I'm sure I'll be dreaming about you."

NYT recommended reading for presidential candidates

2008-06-04T11:43:00.002-04:00

the whole article is here.

my favorite part, below:

Clinton should read, and then quickly pass along, “Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts,” by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson. A half-century of research in psychology has shown that we all overtrust our memory, judgment and rectitude.

i can think of two people i'd have read that book.

snarky, catty, snide--that is me today.

i'm a man without conviction / i'm a man who doesn't know / how to sell a contradiction

2008-05-25T10:55:00.001-04:00

i am not ashamed for loving this.

"yes, pay the voters! forget about the greedy politicians!"

2008-05-25T10:12:00.000-04:00

In The Know: Are Politicians Failing Our Lobbyists?

"that could improve our image abroad."

i love it.

well i don’t mind if you don’t mind

2008-05-24T13:14:00.000-04:00

so i have been reporting for MIRS, the fine folks who employ me to proofread and scour newspapers every morning. and i have to say, i may have found my calling! first, there are few things more entertaining that sitting through the House Appropriations committee meeting (hear me out!) and writing down everything George Cushingberry says. he is like a larger, more sarcastic Apollo Creed. I want to give him a hug every time i see him. he's been around forever (since the 70s, one of the old school lawmakers who will soon be ousted by term limits) and has that ability to put the younger lawmaker in their place. i love it.

it's also been really tremendous to spend my days in the capitol, or any of the outlying buildings, being somewhat anonymous and scribbling notes. it's a mixture of the finest points of gossip, people-watching, the democratic process and the first amendment.

biggest surprise? how accessible the lawmakers are. i've heard my fair share of folks dropping lawmakers names like it is some kind of insider privilege to have a two minute chat with them. but it isn't. anyone can do it. i have walked up tot he committee heads before the meetings, asked my questions, and never gotten that "whothefuckareyou" look. if anything, introducing myself as covering the story for MIRS opens them up a bit, i suppose.

i feel like the young padawan learner of the office. the men and women who report for MIRS are amazing. they know so much it is staggering. i'm loving being able to ask them questions and pick their brains a bit. i love when my story assignment is "i need you to go babysit george cushingberry tomorrow," or when another reporter tells me "just don't try to write too much--in the beginning, just get the facts straight".

obviously i'm feeling pretty lucky. while the last few months have been appalling, from the final implosion of my relationship/family unit, to being betrayed by a friend, etc., at least there is an element of hope here. it doesn't matter anymore that there's no hope for jeremy, that i've had to cut an old friend loose--because i have this new life to build and enjoy, and new places to go.

all things considered, i think i am happy. at least with my professional life, and my own personal "development". the rest of it, and the rest of them, can go to hell. i haven't got time for their drama--i'm too busy with the political kind:)

the stars are blazing like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun

2008-05-10T14:27:00.001-04:00

this song is playing on repeat, on windows media player, and in my brain/heart

just because it needs to happen doesn't mean is isn't a touch sad, right?

You say you wanna move on and
You say I'm falling behind

there's something of the motown aesthetic in this. it's a bit heartbreaking, but there's some kind of inerta or momentum in it, something like JUST KEEP WALKING. which seems a little bit betrayed by the bit of "are you sure this is what you want? you really think it's me?" and "i'm going to be sad without you"; but then there's the overall sense of inevitability.

i don't know if there's a baseball metaphor anywhere in this. i suppose not.

obama/north carolina victory quote

2008-05-07T09:37:00.000-04:00

"we can't afford to give john mccain the chance to serve out george bush's third term".

nice.

so much for obama losing a little of his "excitement" and "fire", etc.

what's new with me, you ask?

2008-04-28T17:40:00.000-04:00

(when it is obvious you watch too much baseball)

a man I work with has learned to stop loving the Detroit lions. I have learned how to stop loving, but not stop caring. but this is about baseball.

I have been a tigers fan since I was born. I think my abuelito anointed me with the old English d at my baptism. which explains why I feel closer, at times, to jim Leyland than to god. or at least understand him (as opposed to Him).

but it hasn't been easy. yes, there was the glory of 1984, but I was so young/it was so early on in the loving them, it almost feels too long ago to be real. I see the pictures and can't imagine alan trammel playing with lou Whitaker, can't remember the specific way lance parrish crouched, kirk Gibson in anything but an abrasive yellow suit calling ball games those few years, and so on. and since then, what's it been? mostly disappointments. the one return to the playoffs (that I remember, there may have been more) and the corollary success of tigers who'd moved on (gibby). oh, and bobby Higginson.

then there's the faith, or "keeping the faith". there's the feeling that you have to love your team as close to unconditionally as possible, even when they overpay juan "my toe hurts" Gonzales, trade todd jones (back when he was can't-miss), and fire phil garner (aka jim Leyland version 1.0). but you have to forgive, or do the thing that approximates forgiveness: attempt to forget.

and then, after years upon years of defending your love of the tigers to friends, family, "they're coming around", "things are going to change, I can feel it", after the lies ("juan encarnacrion is going to be the next Griffey jr.") and the inability to follow through even on setting the record for most losses in a season, there's what seems like an epiphanic reward: a trip to the world fucking series.

you're proud. you have earned it. you watched every game, afternoon and night, for years. I mean YEARS. before carlos guillen signed, before pudge signed, before verlander was even a draft pick. and now, look, there's your Brandon inge (high knee socks and all) over at third! you knew he could do it! he could be AN EVERYDAY PLAYER! you feel vindicated, right? like you showed them all wrong.

until they degenerate into self-destructive behavior: being impatient at the plate. not setting one's feet before throwing to first. even something which some would call cheating: pine tar on the hand. and they lose. and you lose.

the signs were all there, right? the cheating (but would you have called it cheating if you'd ended up with a [world series] ring?), the lying, the disappointments, the you-always-being-the-one-to-forgive-and-forget, the you always compromising (baseball over hockey, baseball over everything), you always trying harder to make it better (as though your practice swings in the jolly road batting cages would really help) but being so acutely aware of all signs pointed to an impending implosion:

inge's strikeouts rise, the pitchers have no control, bodies break down, and on and on. you feel it. 2007 was going to be great, right? a few good months and you had it in the bag.

but no. but no. but no.

how many years are you going to let the roof cave in before you move? how many bad trades, lies, suspected incidences of cheating (where there's a smudge, there's fire) is it going to take? how many times do they drag you through the fire before you stop?

that's what it's like now. I can't imagine going back now, because I'm always waiting for the sky to fall. there's always that great month (june! no one can beat us!) and then the slowly telegraphed collapse: you say you're going to the YMCA, but you come home smelling like beer. you say the hot bartender is just a friend, yet you hide her name in your phone by pretending she is your sister. you lie about more and more, and the truth percentage is lower than Brandon inge's worst ever batting average. but at least there's someone there to call a hit, right?

and I realize you don't love me even close to the way I deserve, or have earned. you don't love me the way I love the tigers. you don't even love the tigers, you just watch or say you want to watch when you want to go out to the bar (by yourself). you don't know what it means to protect the plate. you'd rather have the glory of a homerun than the grit of the drag bunt.

there's at least hope with the tigers. there's no hope left here. and that's sad. that's awful. I carried that hope around for both of us, like your bat boy. I did everything you asked. I took so many for the team my thighs have permanent bruises and I swear they look like the back of your jersey.

but the tigers didn't say they loved me. you did. the tigers didn't say "I really do love you", "please forgive me", "I will never do that to you again". they put their helmets on and went back to work. and the tigers weren't there for our daughter's birth (can you imagine how nervous todd jones would be?) and they didn't run and hide and dodge…they stayed. in Detroit. where it's hard.

because they want to win, they believe they can win.

but I can't play with you anymore. at least the tigers aren't lying anymore. they're not leading Brandon inge on, they're not telling me Miguel Cabrera is "just a friend who wants to see what third base would be like…you know, I'm not shopping for a new third baseman".

find someone else to carry your torch, your bat bag, your jock strap. I'm done. cancel my contract, lose my agent's phone number, I am cleaning out my locker and I won't ever see you in Lakeland again.

the democratic party as the detroit lions

2008-04-20T13:39:00.001-04:00

great bob herbert op-ed in the sunday new york times:

Road Map to Defeat - New York Times

The Democrats have become so psychologically battered by these many
decades in the leadership wilderness that they consider the Clinton
years, during which the president was impeached and they lost control
of both houses of Congress, to have been a period of triumph.

***

yes! isn't that it? doesn't it feel the same as watching the lions staff call 5 wins, or 6, an encouraging sign? or the michigan state football team celebrating their bowl game appearance, an honor only bestowed because they were slightly above mediocre and because there are so many companies willing to sponsor a meaningless bowl game? (seriously: the outback bowl? the music city bowl? doesn't every D1 school host one of these silly "inter-league-post-season" fiascoes?)

so much for that feeling in november of 06, having taken majorities, thinking the war would end and bush would be stymied a bit. even after the bush administration handed the dems the virtual heads of karl rove and donald rumsfield on a silver platter: nothing.

i want so badly for this country, and the dems, to get it together, to make some type of advance. to stop bleeding money, warmongering, pork-barrel projects, propping up failing industry (after all, if capitalism is supposed to work, why does the gov't have to help it so often?) and giving safe exit to corporations who bankrupt their workforce and yet manage to pay their ceo's tens of millions of dollars for "successfully navigating bankruptcy".

it's the same old song: if you want to win, you have to be serious. i see too many progressive-minded folk treating their work and lives as though they don't need to be held accountable--to schedules, being in the office to answer the phone and do the shitty work, being organized, and then celebrating the bullshit little things instead of not wasting the time and charging full steam ahead--when what they are supposed to be doing is holding other people accountable to existing laws or creating new ones.

a hilarious man named don wolcott once said "being on time is not a right-wing conspiracy", and i think it is a point well taken. do you want to know why the republicans are always winning? they are organized, more so than the progressives who like to invoke the grassroots ideal of organizing. they have a 5, 10, 20, probably even 300 year plan. they have an agenda. they are on time. their offices are always staffed. they show up for meetings.

if we will take aim at republicans for their obvious hypocrisies--voting against gay rights when they are gay, etc--then shouldn't we work to minimize our own? shouldn't we make ourselves as unassailable as possible? you know, not breaking laws, even if you don't think the laws are fair? because my bet is a lot of corporations don't think it is fair to provide health insurance, or retirement benefits, or consider their workers above their profits. but isn't that what we want them to do?

there's no excuse. perhaps i am becoming a moral absolutist as i age, or believe too strongly in the 'doctrine of correspondence'; the outside should match the inside.

as mr. herbert points out, the people of this country are practically begging for the dems to step up and (my words here) just fucking accomplish something. so do it.

because i am feeling very catholic right now

2008-04-19T11:19:00.002-04:00

from http://saints.sqpn.com/saintado.htm:

Saint Albert of Montecorvino

Memorial: 5 April
Profile: Taken to Montecorvino in Apulia, Italy as a child. Bishop. He became blind in later years, but was known to his visions, and as a miracle worker.
Born: in Normandy
Died: 1127 at Montecorvino, Apulia, Italy
Print References: Dictionary of Saints, by John Delaney
Translate: español | français | deutsch | italiano | português

anyhow, i am fascinated by the "profile" section--april 5th was the day evie had her stick/eye incident.

maggie, maybe per our conversation last night, this is less coincidence?

in other news, i have lit every one of my saint's candles which will still light, and i have an almost uncontrollable urge to go to church.

the scariest day of my life

2008-04-05T16:50:00.002-04:00

we went to the dog park today. evie was playing along the edge of the path, where there are trees, sticks, and some "stick up" sort of branches or small trees that have snapped off over the winter.

she's three feet away, and i see her fall. she screams, cries--i grab her and when she pulls her hand away from her eye i see a bunch of scratches across her face, mostly in that path of flesh where we get dark undereye circles. jeremy and i check out what she'll let us see and think, for a moment, it's okay.

then she lets me pull her eyelid back, and i see blood. jeremy takes off running to get the car, i take off running with evie. people are staring, i assume they think some dog bit her.

the whole time, our little one is saying she doesn't want to go, she doesn't want to see the doctor, etc. i'm running with her and telling her we trust the doctor, they will make it okay. the minute i saw the blood i though she had damaged her eye, would be blind, all the horrible things you'd imagine. i thought all my internal organs fell through my pelvis, i really wanted to cry.

i jumped in the seat, held evie and tried to strap us both in. jeremy drove nascar-style to the hospital.

thank god for sparrow hospital. i ran into the er and said she took a stick to the eye 10 minutes ago. they got us right in, and after only a few minutes determined there was no damage to the eye. an hour or so of different eye exams followed to make sure, and the doctors, nurses, physicians assistants, etc were amazing. spectacular. they even kept her stocked with popsicles, showed her everything they'd do before they did it, and played silly games with her.

the doctor told us we were really good parents. it's nice to get a compliment like that, esp. given the situation.

i have never been so terrified. sometimes being a parent can be so frustrating or mundane that you forget how lucky you are, how blessed. holding her on my lap with a sock pressed over her eye, running with her thru the park--it was like having her born all over again, that fright and wait and oh-god-what-if-something-is-really-wrong.

it looks like the stick (which i suspect was a small tree, snapped off at its base) went through her skin, then scratched her lower inner eyelid. i cannot believe how lucky we were, how lucky she is. the doctors tell us the human body will always reflexively find a way to protect the eyeball from injury--as such, they haven't seen more than a handful of direct eye injuries in the decades they've been there.

i think i'll be lighting my saint's candles in the morning, and saying my thank you prayers, if not walking down to the catholic church here.

i can't believe how lucky we are, but i am so grateful for it. evie is our heart and our soul, and seeing her in any kind of pain (though she took it better than i can imagine myself taking it) just made me feel like everything had left my body.

so for the next seven days we will apply ointment to her wound, give her some really strong oral antibiotics, and give her carte blanche to have as many popsicles, as much ice cream, watch as many movies, as she wants. i was so relieved, i told her i felt like buying her a (non-conflict) diamond.

so do me a favor and say a little thanks to whomever you like to say such things to. i'll be saying mine, and saying another to maggie and ben, who rescued our dog from the hot car while we were in with evie.

i hate stupid words

2008-03-27T11:51:00.002-04:00

i think we all know how i feel about the word "interesting"...whenever someone uses it (esp. in a critical/academic setting) i want to punch them in the face and say "admit that you're a nitwit!". because either they are idiotic attempting to masquerade as intelligent, or their lazy vocabulary portrays them as an idiot when, in fact, they're not.

anyhow.

i'm not the only one: the book blog man from the new york times has his own list.

bonus points for reading the 200+comments.

i love snarkiness.

hillary clinton lives in a glass house

2008-03-27T10:05:00.001-04:00

and yet is still throwing stones.

i like her less and less each day. and certainly less after reading slate.com this morning.

awesome mcawesomeness

2008-03-12T15:15:00.003-04:00

normally, i think the whole "schmooze" aspect of business/government is deplorable and complete bullshit. when jeremy told me he was going to be schmoozed in detroit at an elite eight game, and opening day at comerica park, i almost knocked his block off. especially because he professes to not be "a sports junkie" (which i clearly am).

imagine my surprise, and delight, to learn HE IS ALLOWED TO BRING A GUEST! ta da! we get an entire, sweet, free weekend in the big d! and (the highlight) we will see justin verlander pitch on opening day!

the only suckass side effect is that i won't be able to go to the STARS concert (boo!) but we do get an entire weekend together, taking in college basketball and professional baseball, and having a few beers. woot!

lesson learned:

2008-03-11T12:00:00.001-04:00

just because he's a democrat doesn't mean he's a good person.

my favorite part: in the statement below he casts his implication in a prostitution ring (which is a federal offense, as he had his lady of choice come from NYC to DC)as a moral, not legal, infraction.

news to you, eliot: you can't pull the "it's a moral, not legal or government matter" unless you really did not break the law, a la bill clinton.

Spitzer Said to Be Weighing Resignation - New York Times

“I have acted in a way that violates my obligations to my family and violates my, or any, sense of right and wrong,” the governor said. “I apologize first and most importantly to my family. I apologize to the public to whom I promised better.”

“I have disappointed and failed to live up to the standard I expected of myself. I must now dedicate some time to regain the trust of my family.”

***

i find it hilarious how dems and progressives were just biting at the bit to vote for this guy. little more research, eh? even his political career has been marked with scandal. geez.

i think this makes kwame's issues seem smaller.

so this is exciting

2008-03-10T13:02:00.001-04:00

on what's wrong with baseball

2008-03-07T12:50:00.001-05:00

ESPN Page 2 - Page 2: You can keep your fancy stats

The first thing we need to do is go back to our roots stats-wise. Stats pages on this and other Web sites should get back to basics. I suggest these time-honored baseball accounting practices, laid across the page in the traditional format: games played, at-bats, runs scored, hits, doubles, triples, homers, runs batted in, batting average and maybe, if there's room, stolen bases. That's 10 items. For pitchers, there's games, games started, wins, losses, winning percentage, saves, innings pitched, hits, strikeouts, walks and ERA. That's 11, which might be too much. Forget strikeouts. If the guy's getting people out, it will show up in his ERA.

What else do you really need to know about a guy? If you can't tell how good a player is from those basic stats, there's something seriously wrong with you -- I mean brain-damage wrong. If you can't tell how good a player is from those basic stats, then maybe your daddy was drunk when you were a baby and he dropped you on your head and never told anybody because he was too embarrassed or didn't remember. If you can't tell how good a player is from those basic stats, maybe you ate some lead paint in the basement or crashed your motorcycle and hit your head against a telephone pole. If you can't tell how good a player is from those basic stats, maybe Timothy Leary was your family doctor, or maybe it's just that you don't know very much about baseball.

*******

baseball, more than any other sport, throws a lot of money at men who will never be regular players in the big leagues (see: drew henson). sometimes you spot a bargain who turns into something special (see: mike piazza) but then again, in cases like that, it helps if tommy "slim fast" lasorda is yr uncle.

the writer has an interesting point--there's always a stat that makes an argument for keeping an unproductive player on a team, and we all know stats lie.

what's sad, at least for me, is seeing baseball slide away from the mythic instincts of it's greatest managers, the "well, he was was due, so i put him in" kind of gut feeling that leads to some of the sports greatest moments (kirk gibson's homeruns). it's no secret: i love jim leyland for the same reason. he answered a question between innings last season in the same old school fashion. joe buck (or someone equally as annoying and inane) asked, how can you tell who will be a great hitter? jim leyland: the ball sounds different coming off their bat.

ta da!

crap stats can't replicate that. they can't make a case for keeping todd jones as your closer despite the fact he starts sweating with nervousness before the national anthem is over. they can't explain why marcus thames is still with the tigers and craig monroe is not. those are the instincts of leyland and dombrowski. and, more often than not (def. more often than b.s. stats), these guys are right.

tiger's fans, rejoice!

2008-02-28T14:15:00.001-05:00

zumaya's ahead of schedule.

makes sense: just as his fastball arrives in the catcher's mitt faster than anyone on record, so of course his body must be aligned in that sort of alternate warp-speed universe.

i can't wait to hear "voodoo child (slight return)" and see the young flamethrower charging to the mound from the bullpen.

le sigh, it is enough to make me forget there will still be snow on the ground when the tigers open the season.

we should TOTALLY build more of these!

2008-02-26T20:53:00.001-05:00

can hillary and barack finally admit that nuclear power ISN'T clean energy? maybe after reading this? genius.

nuclear power: the most expensive way to boil water; impossible to insure; untold potential for catastrophe; and fantastic collateral costs associated with a shut-down!

fantastic.

ummm, really?

2008-02-25T01:05:00.001-05:00

i am beginning to think ralph nader has an uncontrollable ego. and need for constant attention. and is jealous of what ron paul was able to do without a substantial personal fortune and rich pals backing him.

hence, i ask you, why, ralph? what is the point?

that is all.

pat tillman

2008-02-22T13:16:00.001-05:00

i can't say anything better than this:

After Pat's Birthday

Posted on Oct 19, 2006

Courtesy of the Tillman Family

Pat Tillman (left) and his brother Kevin stand in front of a Chinook helicopter in Saudi Arabia before their tour of duty as Army Rangers in Iraq in 2003.

By Kevin Tillman

Editor's note: Kevin Tillman joined the Army with his brother Pat in 2002, and they served together in Iraq and Afghanistan. Pat was killed in Afghanistan on April 22, 2004. Kevin, who was discharged in 2005, has written a powerful, must-read document_

It is Pat's birthday on November 6, and elections are the day after. It gets me thinking about a conversation I had with Pat before we joined the military. He spoke about the risks with signing the papers. How once we committed, we were at the mercy of the American leadership and the American people. How we could be thrown in a direction not of our volition. How fighting as a soldier would leave us without a voice… until we got out.

Much has happened since we handed over our voice:

Somehow we were sent to invade a nation because it was a direct threat to the American people, or to the world, or harbored terrorists, or was involved in the September 11 attacks, or received weapons-grade uranium from Niger, or had mobile weapons labs, or WMD, or had a need to be liberated, or we needed to establish a democracy, or stop an insurgency, or stop a civil war we created that can't be called a civil war even though it is. Something like that.

Somehow our elected leaders were subverting international law and humanity by setting up secret prisons around the world, secretly kidnapping people, secretly holding them indefinitely, secretly not charging them with anything, secretly torturing them. Somehow that overt policy of torture became the fault of a few "bad apples" in the military.

Somehow back at home, support for the soldiers meant having a five-year-old kindergartener scribble a picture with crayons and send it overseas, or slapping stickers on cars, or lobbying Congress for an extra pad in a helmet. It's interesting that a soldier on his third or fourth tour should care about a drawing from a five-year-old; or a faded sticker on a car as his friends die around him; or an extra pad in a helmet, as if it will protect him when an IED throws his vehicle 50 feet into the air as his body comes apart and his skin melts to the seat.

Somehow the more soldiers that die, the more legitimate the illegal invasion becomes.

Somehow American leadership, whose only credit is lying to its people and illegally invading a nation, has been allowed to steal the courage, virtue and honor of its soldiers on the ground.

Somehow those afraid to fight an illegal invasion decades ago are allowed to send soldiers to die for an illegal invasion they started.

Somehow faking character, virtue and strength is tolerated.

Somehow profiting from tragedy and horror is tolerated.

Somehow the death of tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people is tolerated.

Somehow subversion of the Bill of Rights and The Constitution is tolerated.

Somehow suspension of Habeas Corpus is supposed to keep this country safe.

Somehow torture is tolerated.

Somehow lying is tolerated.

Somehow reason is being discarded for faith, dogma, and nonsense.

Somehow American leadership managed to create a more dangerous world.

Somehow a narrative is more important than reality.

Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.

Somehow the most reasonable, trusted and respected country in the world has become one of the most irrational, belligerent, feared, and distrusted countries in the world.

Somehow being politically informed, diligent, and skeptical has been replaced by apathy through active ignorance.

Somehow the same incompetent, narcissistic, virtueless, vacuous, malicious criminals are still in charge of this country.

Somehow this is tolerated.

Somehow nobody is accountable for this.

In a democracy, the policy of the leaders is the policy of the people. So don't be shocked when our grandkids bury much of this generation as traitors to the nation, to the world and to humanity. Most likely, they will come to know that "somehow" was nurtured by fear, insecurity and indifference, leaving the country vulnerable to unchecked, unchallenged parasites.

Luckily this country is still a democracy. People still have a voice. People still can take action. It can start after Pat's birthday.

***

well, i can say one thing. the dems came riding into office like knights in shining armour. and didn't do a damn thing.

it's sad that there's no difference between any of them anymore. they're all using the war, the soldiers, etc. to advance their campaign or get elected or attack the opponent. it's a tug-of-war (pun intended) where the middle marker never goes in one direction.

oooooooooh, baby i love your way

2008-02-21T22:48:00.002-05:00

i am not feeling quite clever enough to come up with a snazzy title, so i googled "baby" and "song lyrics" and what you see above is the phrase i discerned to be best. and by best, i mean least annoying.

so.

i read the news--a lot. in fact, some very incredible, intelligent and funny people pay me to do it. the best part, besides watching the midland v. bay city v. saginaw triangular battle for "we aren't that bad, check out what is happening in midland/bay city/saginaw" unfold, is being assigned to read the lansing city pulse, a paper i really enjoy but don't read as often living on the outskirts of lansing. (aside: that will change. moving day is upon us...in a week.)

today the cover story Outside the Hospital: Local women discover natural birth caught my eye. first, because it sounds a bit cheesy (bad titles, theme of the day) and because i have had a baby (she's three now, so if you are surprised, you clearly haven't been paying attention).

of course the story centers on the same hospital where we delivered evie. some of you know the backstory there--the short of it is i was in labor over 40 hours, pushed for two, had my labor stopped (really, there is a shot for that) as evie was becoming stressed (essentially i never had a lull in the contractions...picture a constant tsunami as opposed to waves) and then in the morning my labor was begun anew. after all was said and done, i ended up with the now-fashionable c-section. my doctors' reason seemed right: a very serious infection was rapidly progressing through my (almost to evie) and it was time to make sure she (and i) were going to be okay.

because my experience was out of control, and full of delirious pain (hello, pitocin!) which caused me to literally lose 6 hours, i am pretty well set on not having another child. having both a "natural" and cesarean birth to recover from wasn't pretty.

what does get me, tho, is what is mainly the thrust of the article: had i stuck to my guns and not caved to have any induction, it is possible i would have ended up without the surgery. but we will never know--that's all speculation. evie was over 1/3 my height at birth, and over 8 pounds. chances are it would have been difficult either way.

what i hate, really, is the speculation over what is best for each mother or child. i agree that childbirth is empowering to an extent--you learn what you and your body are made of, you learn a hell of a lot about death (at least i did--i was convinced i was going to die before the doctors stopped the labor the first time, it was that apparent to me that what was occurring wasn't normal) and when the baby arrives happy and healthy, you instantly forget the horror of it. until later.

i'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade here: childbirth is incredible, and scary, and the worst pain you'll ever go through. and there are a lot of things you can do to alleviate some of that. but the reason i think women (esp. here in lansing) are having surgical births at an alarming (thirty percent) rate is less because doctors are controlling bastards (mine weren't, they were delightful) and more, i think, because all of us have some type of notion ingrained in us about women. i know plenty of men who feel they are responsible for "protecting" their female friends, relatives, etc. chivalry is sweet in a romantic comedy, but it borders on "i know what's best for you"--and really becomes clearer in situations where women (or anyone we are all taught to believe is "weaker" than us) are vulnerable. this is not a man v. woman thing, either: the doctors and nurses who really bear the responsibility for sending things out of control during my labor were women. insane.

i'm rambling. i know. but i have a real issue with anyone saying what is or is not right for another person: what i would love is just the encouragement of choice.

so read the article. tell me what you think. kristin, you especially:)

rise and shine

2008-02-19T09:14:00.001-05:00

i am not a morning person. this is not much of a surprise--i love staying awake late into the night, and if i could get away with it, i'd start a second pot of coffee at nine p.m.

i would LIKE to be a morning person, but i am far too lazy to start that path on my own. last night i told jeremy he should wake me at seven a.m., as he was planning to be up at 630. (mind you, when we first started dating, we didn't go to BED until 630.) lo and behold, he actually did! i walked downstairs and gave him a kiss (i thought he was leaving) and then went back to bed.

but i am a total pavlovian coffee dog. jeremy had a pot of very strong, very fresh, very delicious coffee brewing i could smell from upstairs, and i am not one to sleep when there is coffee ready. like a more sleep-deprived, less cheery character in an eighties folger's commercial, i came shuffling down the stairs at 730. congratulations to me!

making it all the stranger, evie is still sleeping. i have thus far read everything online i have felt like reading, caught NPR-Morning Edition (which i always sleep through), played scrabble, made pancake batter, brewed another half-pot of coffee, fed the dog, etc. this morning business isn't half bad.

it was a balmy 40+ degrees here over the weekend, and the hint of spring on the wind made me quickly impatient and nostalgic for baseball. i cannot wait to pen the windows, let the breeze carry through the (NEW!!!) house, and listen to the tigers on the radio. sigh.

that said, this is great news. i plan to drag jeremy and evie to a mid-season game to see young zumaya make his comeback. this, however, is lame news. i had roger clemens pegged as an utter rat bastard prior tot he "subway series" when he threw at mike piazza's head (and i believe knocked him out cold). his unending dramatics every effing season, the "will clemens play another season" and "who will overpay roger to perform poorly and refuse to travel?" make me want to smack him. i have no warm hugs-and-apple-pies feelings for him.

but roger roger roger, come the fuck on, i don't fault anyone for using hgh. playing 160ish games in eight months, performance-incentive-laden contracts, bodily wear and tear--yes, take the hgh. it is your future tumor, your earning potential is limited, and you are, in the end, a product. (aside: congress, if we're really going to be capitalist, butt out of baseball...it isn't a sport, it's a business.) but really, lying about it? blaming your wife? oh, roger. i wish joel zumaya would take hgh! i wish everyone making a living from their body (except prostitutes) had the option to heal faster. (make no mistake, i don't believe in steroids. but hgh is fine by me--it isn't going to make you better, just more durable.)

but lying i will never abide.

alright, kids, the sun is shining, it is snowing, and i think it is time to make pancakes. woot.

bathroom songs

2008-02-10T13:14:00.000-05:00

daughter, singing naked in the bathroom while washing her hands:

"my name is luz evangelina but the people call me wee-vee, wee-vee, wee-vee!"

it should be noted, she often pronounces "evangelina" as something more like "ballerina".

SOMETIMES IT IS SO EASY, WE SHARE A PILLOW

2008-02-09T23:57:00.000-05:00

It is only four
degrees outside.
We lie together
flank to flank
no covers
no clothes
--
shimmering.

MONDAY EVENING, OAK PARK YMCA

2008-02-09T23:55:00.000-05:00

I see again a trickle
of men emerging
from the peewee-sized doors
of the racquetball courts

wearing their Jim McMahon
sweatbands and knee-braces

perspiration clinging
to each wrinkle
and kinked body hair
like overcooked pasta.

I want to high-five them all.

my new nickname

2008-02-06T20:51:00.001-05:00

so, LOST nerd that i am, i subscribe to LOST blogs...and learned by way of this LOST nerd pony express that ABC has posted a Sawyer nickname generator.

i encourage you to try it out--much more fun than "how will i die", "what's my porn star name", etc.

check it out here.

for the record, my nickname is...

Picasso.

post yours below, fellow LOST nerds and folks looking for something to postpone the laundry/work phone calls etc.

but then again, i voted to go topless...

2008-02-05T10:09:00.001-05:00

but then again, i voted to go topless... thanks to tim c. for calling attention to brandon's concise, truthful and witty take on the Super Tuesday voting:

The color of the tee shirt doesn't matter. Nor does the sex of the tee shirt. But would you choose to wear only two tee shirts (read: Bush and Clinton), alternating one and then the other, for over twenty years without once stopping to get a whiff of how funky you smell and how tacky you look? It's Super Tuesday and it's time to buy a new tee shirt (read: Obama, American Apparel). Stop wearing the same shitty clothes, America.

For the record, I voted Ron Paul in Michigan's primary, which I suppose is something like anarchy (who knew being a strict interpreter of the Constitution would one day feel like anarchy?) which in this case/this metaphor would be like going topless.

ann coulter...attempting some karl rove-type sabotage?

2008-02-01T12:24:00.001-05:00

it is well-known that karl rove essentially "propped" john kerry's bid for the presidency up in 2004 by issuing several statements during the primaries noting kerry was a formidable candidate, had him worried, etc., in order to use his reverse psychology skills to lull us all into think kerry was our man. of course, kerry never had rove worried (aside: why the hell didn't anyone catch on to this? never take karl rove's word! he's like ben from LOST). in fact, rove had the best attack plan on kerry (flip-flop) and obviously, it worked.

the same rumblings have begun this campaign year--rove more or less offering advice to hillary clinton, deriding obama, etc. and why? well, if you're rove, and you're a brilliant campaign tactician, highly skilled in election espionage, hillary is the candidate you want to see make it through the primary. (makes the new york times' recent hillary endorsement even more interesting).

nothing, absolutely nothing, motivates the conservative base like mentioning the clinton name. obama, however, is a more nebulous and enigmatic threat. it is difficult to say anything negative about him that sticks. just look at the clinton campaign's mud-slinging attempts: he's a radical muslim? he owned rental properties in illinois? he was a drug-dealer?

straight from the celluloid snapshots of the movie "8 mile", obama has already released the most explosive information any opponent could hope to unleash. we know he struggled with a drug addiction--he wrote about it. in a book! the clinton campaign now looks like rabbit's opposing emcee at the end of the film--nothing to say, dumbfounded.

which brings me to this: ann coulter says she'd vote for hillary clinton over john mccain, and here's why:

"If you are looking at substance rather than if there is an R or a D
after his name, manifestly, if he's our candidate, than Hillary is
going to be our girl, because she's more conservative than he is,"
Coulter said. "I think she would be stronger on the war on terrorism."

what? is there anyone alive who thinks of hillary clinton as even remotely conservative? she is certainly not a fiscal conservative. (outside ron paul, i don't think there is one.) the health care plan she pushed during bill's white house years smacks of progressive/liberal ideals. giving licenses to illegal immigrants, etc.,--none of this is conservative canon. wanting to pull the US out of Iraq is certainly not part of the conservative agenda.

make no mistake, i haven't been a john mccain fan since he decided to rejoin the dark side and become another lemur for the bush administration. but within the framework of the current conservative agenda and canon, coulter's assessment makes zero sense.

the only explanation, as far as i am concerned, is that coulter is carrying rove's playbook: she thinks marshaling support against hillary would be a slam dunk. i'm afraid she's right, and i hope this time, the rest of the dems are smart enough to see it.

not for the faint of heart

2008-01-31T11:58:00.001-05:00

CNN, the venerable leader of all news media outlets, has posted a story about (shock!) animals being mistreated at a slaughterhouse. As if slaughter weren't mistreatment enough, right?

Anyway, fair warning. Here's what the tape (whih I am too faint-of-heart to watch) shows:

The video shows Hallmark Meat Packing Co. workers administering repeated electric shocks to downed cows -- animals that are too sick, weak or otherwise unable to stand on their own. Workers are seen kicking cows, jabbing them near their eyes, ramming them with a forklift and shooting high-intensity water up their noses in an effort to force them to their feet for slaughter.

Can you imagine? Stand up, lazy sick cow, so we can eviscerate you! Not to mention (as the article does) the implications for the quality and heathfulness of the meat. Reason number ten million why I am not eating meat--I can't guarantee the sanitation, contamination risk, etc. And lord knows we can't trust the government to keep an effective watch, either. Scary!

This isn't intended as a vegetarian polemic, either. I hate those people. But I think we should all really investigate where our food comes from, and how it is prepared, etc. I have a sneaking suspicion that many of the modern-day ills this country is afflicted with start with our food sources (ancient Rome, anyone?) and if we all pay a little more attention, we can root some of them out.

thinking of marquez instead of finishing the book

2008-01-21T22:58:00.000-05:00

i have almost finished reading "love in the time of cholera". i tore through "100 years of solitude" this summer, and upon finishing it, told jeremy, "that's the best book i am ever going to read. i should just stop now." i mention all this for a few reasons: i have been 30 pages from the end of "cholera" for a nearly a week, and yet i can't bring myself to finish it. there sort of spell marquez's work exists in--well, it is difficult to leave it! and also, the prevailing opinion (even among people i respect and adore) is that "cholera" is essentially worthless in comparison to "solitude".

i'll grant the books are substantially different--"cholera" is all about love, the thousands of types of love, the past, time, how we change and who we become (as though we are all always living with the ghosts of who we were or who someone else was...you have to read this book!). and "solitude" is more perfectly executed as a masterful plot. but i suspect that as people with two children say you don't love one more, you love them both differently, that should be the feeling with these two novels.

it's just that "solitude" is like the peyton manning, and "cholera" is the eli manning.

but guess what? peyton won his superbowl, and now eli is going too!

anxious for baseball much, angela?

2008-01-20T15:50:00.001-05:00

this is always how it starts--evie napping, jeremy passed out on the couch...an innocent afternoon of youtube-ing leads, inevitably, to watching far too many fan-made tigers tributes set to, you guessed it, "the eye of the tiger".

my love for joel zumaya (in a "hey, let me buy you a beer and talk about your pitch selection" kind of way, not a "hey, i'm going to throw you my bra" kind of way) is well documented. who wouldn't love a man whose every pitch seems to require that, as soon as the ball is firmly in ivan rodriguez's mitt, one add "bitches"? as in, "strike, bitches", or "88-mile-an-hour change-up, bitches". (i love using the phrase"bitches and hos" or just plain "bitches" in reference to sports. which is funny, as i am a feminist, and have an above-average vocabulary. incidentally, this is also why i won't ever be a professional color commentator or play-by-play caller...my mouth is too filthy. hah! who wants to podcast tiger's games with me this year? like "mystery science 3000" for baseball?)

anyway. here's a full, hilarious and fantastic breakdown of the greatness that is joel zumaya. send him healing thoughts. think spring...training!

Voodoo Sabermetrics - Joel Zumaya « The Extrapolater

His left arm has a large flame and cross tattoo on it, which acts as foreshadowing of what’s to come for the batter: fire from God. On its own, this isn’t a lot, but when Zumaya’s allergies are acting up his left eye shifts Terminator red. With one ocular ablaze, for you, Joel Zumaya, a Victory V-12 with 12% alcohol.

it's evie's birthday!

2008-01-08T15:23:00.000-05:00

as of 6:06 p.m., our little bear will be three.

i plan to celebrate by NOT having a major surgery, making a few cupcakes, and lighting some candles!

goodness, this makes me feel old.

in honor of the NH primary...

2008-01-08T12:16:00.001-05:00

...you should read this!

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/526482501.html

stubborn much?

2008-01-03T11:08:00.000-05:00

so evie has been having a difficult time staying in bed. she normally comes into the bedroom a few nights a week and makes a little bed next to ours, but over the last few weeks it has been constant. she's also been fighting staying in bed the minute we put her in for the night, and when she wakes up in the wee night hours she is unreasonable/mean/screaming, etc. i know--parenthood.

those are all the crappy things that happen when yr child is trying very hard to outlast your will and get you to let her sleep in bed with you/take her to bed again/tuck her in/scare the monsters away (by the way, she thinks rudy guiliani is a monster, and calls her monsters guiliani monsters!). those, and my being freakishly tired lately, but unable to sleep.

anyhow, last night was another such night. after the attempts to get daddy to take her back to bed (before the middle of the night scream fest) seemingly failed (he said no) we heard our little bear go at least part of the way to her room and cry. the crying stopped after a few minutes, and we thought she must have climbed into bed and admitted defeat.

defeat? how wrong--not this child! her stubbornness makes jeremy and i look like absolute pushovers.

new year’s wrap-up

2008-01-02T00:38:00.001-05:00

standout moments of the year: watching the sunrise over Lake Superior with Evie and Jeremy; having the entire family together on Christmas Eve; learning a new fantastic board game (settlers of catan); the look on Evie’s face when we brought Beans home; the warm reviews and good “sales” numbers for my book.

new additions: dog (Beans!), niece Autumn, nephew Luke

preggo pals: at least 5!

people getting new last names: three (Maggie, Amanda and Courtney) wonderful ladies with three equally wonderful partners!

lesson learned: relationships are hard. but not nearly as hard as we make them.

happiness meter: through the roof!

books of the year: “On Beauty” (Zadie Smith), “One Hundred Years of Solitude” (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)

random surprises: deciding 4 months ago to vote for Ron Paul; finding out I was written into a will; being a house-wife

not-so-surprises: I hate doing laundry;

sporting disappointments: Tigers not making the playoffs (but I’m still proud of my boys!); I’d say something about the Lions, but I’m just grateful for the 7 wins.

things that will just never change: my hate-hate relationship with Tom Brady/U-M football; Lions (see above)

friends and family thank yous: to everyone. I am difficult, I know. but thanks for listening, and letting me lean on you.

resurgent favorites: family guy reruns (thanks, tbs!); making lists/group blogging with the girls; coloring with crayons (after Evie is in bed!)

resolutions: be less uptight (i.e. bitchy) and judgmental; write more; stop smoking/get into marathon shape; write actual letters; play more softball this summer; read over 70 books; give yoga a fourth chance; be more patient.

effing awesome

2007-12-19T23:40:00.000-05:00

and i quote:

GAINESVILLE, Fla. -- Florida assistant coach Doc Holliday was back in Gainesville on Wednesday, one day after interviewing for the head job at West Virginia.

(per http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3162272)

how fantastic is that!!! i wish (insert name of any michigan sports team here) had a coach named doc "i'm your huckleberry" holliday.

merry christmas to me.

funniest. t-shirt. ever.

2007-12-08T12:30:00.000-05:00

finally, a good example

2007-11-29T10:55:00.000-05:00

natalie portman is an only child.

i have an easy example now of a well-adjusted, socialized and "not worse for not having siblings" only child.

this should work as a nice answer to the "when are you having more kids" question and "but evie needs a sister/brother".

fun fact: natalie portman played a character named evie in "v for vendetta". wooooooo!

besides being first in crime...

2007-11-26T11:47:00.001-05:00

...(the city of detroit, not the whole state of michigan), we here in the Mitt can now lay claim to this.

nitwits and poetry

2007-11-26T10:01:00.001-05:00

Jim Harrison, writing about Charles Bukowski in yesterday's New York Times Book Review:

Our perceptions of Bukowski, like our perceptions of Kerouac, are muddied by the fact that many of his most ardent fans are nitwits who love him to the exclusion of any of his contemporaries. I would suggest you can appreciate Bukowski with the same brain that loves Wallace Stegner and Gary Snyder.

Thank you, Jim Harrison!

Poets whose "extreme" fans are also nitwits:

Robert Frost
Allen Ginsberg
Sylvia Plath
Shakespeare

I define "extreme" here as being obsessed with an author (poet), acting like they're "yours" when really they are the worst kept literary secret in the history of modern lit., and not making an effort to read beyond "your poet".

I swear, every time I have ever heard someone begin to expound on the virtues of Shakespeare, etc., I have wanted to put my head right through the wall. And, for the record, I like Sylvia Plath. But that's where it ends.

Feel free to add to the list!

Only one cup of coffee into the day = Angela is SNARKY!

what if...

2007-11-15T12:31:00.001-05:00

...instead of a typical "christmas tree" we still had the actual tree, but made a "peace tree"? i am thinking of those "peace poles" i'd always see when canvassing, and even now in lansing at churches.

so what would this even look like? aside from lots of white lights...or purple lights, i suppose...or ribbons? i can't remember what color ribbons military families use (you'd think i would know, but i'm still on my 2nd cup of coffee!)

any ideas? thoughts?

trying not to have a consumer-ific holiday season!

last new poem

2007-11-11T15:46:00.003-05:00

UPPER PENINSULA EPHEMERA

a postcard for Boog, who grew up in the UP

I didn't want to be the one

to tell you, but the trees are burning, Boog.

There is fire everywhere.

We can't reach Munising

from Taquahmenon Falls

except by dirt road.

Even then

there is so much ash

my mouth tastes of old campfire.

We are in Shelter Bay.

It is only August 4^th.

The leaves are unclenching

their jaws from the branches.

By the time they reach the

ground they look like bleeding gums,

they are so red. And lovely.

An entire national forest burned

by one lightning strike.

Everything is more frightening than it ought to be:

the Mackinac Bridge

suspended by dental floss; meteor showers

so close and so bright it feels like Mosul;

a Vietnam vet named Ron Stokes

who is half-deaf and hermitic and

possibly your future self.

Worst of all, Boog, is not that he paints

in a Bob Ross-style, or that he drinks

mainly Busch Light; it is that he goes

entire calendar years without speaking

to anyone, as though his mouth

opens to a tunnel of fire.

This does not stop him from smoking.

But when I see you, you are already drunk,

beer cans rattling like empty shell casings

in your speech. The maple planks

of the table scorch. The folds of the paper

curl and brown, waltz away

from my fingers and yours.

Before I can tell you of the joys of US-2,

how safe we feel so close

to Lake Michigan, your face is red

and your hair rising to the ceiling

with electric charge.

I only wanted to warn you, Boog:

Mr. Stokes looks to be

what I can only describe as spent munitions.

Most of his teeth are rotten, the rest missing,

and you, old friend, have always had

such lovely teeth.

another new poem

2007-11-11T15:46:00.001-05:00

BECAUSE I DON'T ALWAYS KNOW WHY I LOVE YOU, BUT I ALWAYS KNOW WHY I STAY

You had asked to feel

the slow kick

of our child in me

like hooves on dirt

to sleep again beside me

some strange new gleam

to your face.

II.

A full foot taller than me, your shins

ankles and toes hang

over the edge of the bed. Even asleep

you are a man Caravaggio

would have loved, feet breaking through

the frame of the bedsheets.

Dirt stains the soles

of your feet, leaves pentimenti

every place you've been.

Like a rough sketch, a first draft.

III.

I took the Caravaggio book

from the shelf

to show you

The Conversion of St. Paul.

It took him two attempts

to get it

right:

thrown from horse

smooth on his back

arms wide

eyes closed against the light

the horse looking down at him

foreleg paused mid-trot:

because in this second version

Paul did not cover his eyes

or cower.

a new poem

2007-11-11T15:45:00.001-05:00

STILL LIFE

A stray shallot

rotted down

to its own papery

peels,

something culled

from Caravaggio:

Boy with a Basket

of Fruit.

One flat rock.

Surgical staples.

Our last surviving

wine glass, crusted

with Black Box

cabernet sauvignon.

One potted tiger lily.

The extra seeds

from our spring garden:

green beans

serrano peppers

cucumbers and cilantro.

The missing pieces

for the board games

Diplomacy and Risk.

it's really not so hard when you think about it...and have a list

2007-10-25T16:50:00.000-04:00

i am going to print out this article from the New York Times, and carry it with me at all family functions, etc. this way, when asked to justify spending 5.50 on a gallon of organic milk for la luz, i won't have to repeat the same old speech. i can just hand it over! perfect!

incidentally, i am a bit of a nazi about a few other organic foods, esp. those fruits with thin skins: grapes, all berries, and cherries.

i am surprised not to see some mention of cage free/vegetarian fed hen/organic eggs on the list. we can now find antibiotic free/no horomone/veggie fed hen eggs at our local produce joint! which makes me think we should have eggs for dinner. mmmmmmmm.