mothering in the time of comedy

For me the epitome of cheesy romantic comedies is a tie--"You've Got Mail" and "Someone Like You". The same drawbacks exist in both, however--the incessant need to pair off. As though you're not a whole person (and women can never be whole, right?) until you've got someone. Preferably a man.

And the paths to "pairing" are so well-worn: there's the "only the love of a good woman/man can settle him/her down". Yes, as though love were dog training. There's the fiercely independent woman who, it turns out, isn't independent at all, she's just waiting for the right man to make her happy so, thank god, she no longer HAS TO BE HER OWN PERSON.

All that aside, I am interested in seeing the movie "No Reservations" after reading this review in the New York Times.

And here's why:

Modern Hollywood movies often genuflect toward feminism while implying that a woman isn’t truly a woman until she has gratefully surrendered to motherhood. While watching “No Reservations” you keep waiting for the other high-heeled shoe to drop, but it never really does. The director, Scott Hicks (“Shine”), and the screenwriter, Carol Fuchs, respect Kate’s ambition, skill and drive. Throughout, they imply that Kate’s biggest hurdle isn’t a lack of aptitude for motherhood but her credulous acceptance of society’s one-size-fits-all definition of good parents.

Finally! I am hoping this movie lives up to the promise of not making us fall in love with this talented, successful woman only to watch her give her life up to take care of her niece when the epiphany comes to her that the only worthwhile thing in life is having children. Of course I am biased on my own end--I would be a totally different woman without Evie. On the other hand, I try very hard to be a model for her--of a woman who had a whole separate life before the baby, and who resumed that life after the baby. I never wanted to say to her--"Well, Mommy used to write....Mommy used to enjoy art...." so why can't I find any movies for myself (and one day Evie) to watch with the same message?

Uggh. My shoulders hurt from typing too violently.

this is making me laugh

i can't stop laughing

holy shit, this is hilarious. no, it's not that "landlord" skit; it's an article from cnn.com. election-related, of course. read this little gem from rudy guilani, and then think back: remember when rudy left his wife for his mistress? hmm. so, for those of us keeping "moral score": sleeping with a woman other than your wife = okay, unless she is a prostitute. oh, i need a glass of water after all this.

as though i were really in the movie tombstone

the scene where wyatt tells the cowboys,
"i want you to know that it's over"--

that's my life now. again, really.

we are "going our separate ways".

i wish we'd have been married, so i could explain the feeling by saying "i am going thru a very painful divorce". that has much more power than "oh, it was a hard breakup".

if i call any of you for a beer night soon, you'll know why.