I'd walk away like a movie star who gets burned in a three way script

"if you could read my mind", a song i have loved on and off over the years (imagine that!) found me again this morning.

being so happy, so excited, so giggly again is strange. it is like meeting yourself again...for the first time. i'd forgotten what i was like. i like this me better.

but there's a touch (believe me, it is just a touch, like a spiderweb against your cheek)of melancholy. because the anger is gone. because i don't like failing. it is like waving goodbye to a steamship full of passengers you don't know from the shore. there's really no reason to feel you're going to miss them, but you do.

in honor of george carlin

exorcism

i had tea with diane thursday, and i told her of my rediscovery/reconnection with catholicism, its rituals and sacraments, its words: beatitude, novena, benediction.

she read the following poem, exorcism, to me. how lucky to find an audio link. enjoy.

***

	Diane Wakoski - Exorcism
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

pulling it all back in

this blog is going private, kids. send me an email, and i'll add you to the list:)

out of africa

listing--in the sense of making a list, not falling to one side

1. i watched out of africa last night
2. i may be in love with robert redford in that movie
3. his name in the film is dennis...not a good name.
4. just as i was beginning to bitch about tidy, happy endings, i watch a movie without one.
5. that's about right.
6. while wanting to shake meryl streep and ask her what the eff, i understand.
7. sometimes it's all about possession.
8. currently listening to: the bob dylan + johnny cash version of "big river".
9. that equals awesomeness.
10. sex and the city is on.
11. carrie. what a weakling.
12. i know. i have had my mr. big.
13. his name did not turn out to be named john, but maybe that was his middle name.
14. why did the show (and i assume the movie) end with them getting together?
15. doesn't that undermine the whole premise of the show?
16. john miller gave me the music (see #8) and i am elated to have been able to visit with him on my porch.
17. i love my/our (maggie's + ben's) porch.
18. 5 hours of tea yesterday with diane = just what i needed.
19. it only felt like 35 minutes.
20. joel zumaya is coming back.
21. the tigers have won four straight.
22. i received a credit as a MIRS writer in the book we're putting out.
23. evie comes back to me monday.
24. i can't wait to snuggle her.
25. i forgot how much i loved making lists.
26. i forgot how much i loved a lot of things.
27. i'm like a bird now. how lame. how true.
28. amanda taught me about lists.
29. it's nice to be excited again.
30. it's just as nice to have people around who have faith in you.
31. george cushingberry is still my favorite.
32. who says writing doesn't change anything?
33. song stuck in my head: that 'africa' song.
34. someone told me today 'toto' sings it.
35. must have been rita. she has the best iTunes.
36. i'm going to finish my book tonight--'last night at the lobster'.
37. bob dylan + johnny cash(singing 'you are my sunshine') = i can feel little evie against my chest, and i miss her so much/ am so exaltant just thinking of her, i could explode.
38. mirriam-webester, and google spell check, say exaltant isn't a word.
39. words are like math. see # 37.
40. my coach gave me the game ball from monday. i think my parents are proud.
41. this is a good place to stop.

dear last night's double

when I hit you out of the infield in the bottom of the final inning, one out, the score tied, and saw the center fielder having trouble with you, I wanted to send you this text message:

"I'm the luckiest man in the world right now."

and then, trying so hard to sleep, all I could see was the arc of the pitch leaving the pitcher's hand, remembered taking a deep breath, noting that the pitch was a bit high, exhaled slowly like Ralph macchio in karate kid (both one and two), and swung away.

now I will climb out of bed to send you this:

"I'm going to bed, but I'm sure I'll be dreaming about you."

NYT recommended reading for presidential candidates

the whole article is here.

my favorite part, below:

Clinton should read, and then quickly pass along, “Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts,” by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson. A half-century of research in psychology has shown that we all overtrust our memory, judgment and rectitude.

i can think of two people i'd have read that book.

snarky, catty, snide--that is me today.