And the paths to "pairing" are so well-worn: there's the "only the love of a good woman/man can settle him/her down". Yes, as though love were dog training. There's the fiercely independent woman who, it turns out, isn't independent at all, she's just waiting for the right man to make her happy so, thank god, she no longer HAS TO BE HER OWN PERSON.
All that aside, I am interested in seeing the movie "No Reservations" after reading this review in the New York Times.
And here's why:
Modern Hollywood movies often genuflect toward feminism while implying that a woman isn’t truly a woman until she has gratefully surrendered to motherhood. While watching “No Reservations” you keep waiting for the other high-heeled shoe to drop, but it never really does. The director, Scott Hicks (“Shine”), and the screenwriter, Carol Fuchs, respect Kate’s ambition, skill and drive. Throughout, they imply that Kate’s biggest hurdle isn’t a lack of aptitude for motherhood but her credulous acceptance of society’s one-size-fits-all definition of good parents.
Finally! I am hoping this movie lives up to the promise of not making us fall in love with this talented, successful woman only to watch her give her life up to take care of her niece when the epiphany comes to her that the only worthwhile thing in life is having children. Of course I am biased on my own end--I would be a totally different woman without Evie. On the other hand, I try very hard to be a model for her--of a woman who had a whole separate life before the baby, and who resumed that life after the baby. I never wanted to say to her--"Well, Mommy used to write....Mommy used to enjoy art...." so why can't I find any movies for myself (and one day Evie) to watch with the same message?
Uggh. My shoulders hurt from typing too violently.
3 comments:
i actually can't believe that the review made it to press! this is awesome. i'm definitely impressed with the NYT and might have to see this movie myself.
p.s. you're one hot mama ;)
i think this is noteworthy, and thanks for noticing babe. i am glad you still think this way. i am so often feeling completely isolated in my lack of need for that 'maternal purpose'. maybe this is a step toward a shift in all of our rhetoric.
Angela,
This is why I deeply respect you and your daughter will to when she has to confront the same issues and cross the same bridges...
This movie actually sounds worthwhile (oh hollywood, you suprise so intermittently, how can I ever make a generalization!)
As soon as we (I) truly internalize this, we may be able to stop apologizing for living all the time... What an unbecoming characteristic so many women have adopted in response to themselves.
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