god is testing me

and quite possibly the devil himself as well.

being a stay-at-home again is a bit of a rough adjustment in and of itself; add in the dog, who is basically a 60 pound toddler, and rough becomes an understatement of magnificent proportions.

one of my first thoughts upon being informed that my "position was being eliminated" (well, after the nasty ones and the urge to laugh very very hard) was, hey, now i can have nice time at home with evie and beans, and get all the thing done we haven't even begun to deal with since we moved!

safe to say i was a bit optimistic. the frustration of being home all day with the toddler and the terror is building. while evie can get things for herself at times, it is contingent upon her wanting to (toddlers are, in a word, moody). or, worse, she gets into things!

list of things i have found evie getting into while she is supposed to be sleeping:
1. mascara
2. lotion (three separate times)
3. suntan lotion
4. shower gel (she dropped something on the floor and decided to clean it up)
5. toys (including her "corn popper"--once at 3 am)

today, i thought she was at least staying put in her room and went to take a shower. this was a treat--the last few showers i have had have been with evie. (think it's hard to contain a toddler? try doing it while they're covered in soap, and you have shampoo in your eyes!) and since my days are pretty much already taken up by chasing after/cleaning up after/putting back into bed/feeding evie and beans, showers are a little tough to come by.

so i get out of the shower, and am getting dressed when i hear evie yelling at beans to "come on". only her voice is muffled....BECAUSE SHE IS OUTSIDE!

little one had packed a purse and a backpack and taken beans outside. (was she running away already?) i lock the doors to keep such things from happening, but apparently, she has figured out how to unlock the deadbolt. i, pants-less, throw on some shorts (my hair still up in a towel-turban) and run outside to chase the two delinquents down.

i swear, i swear, i am beginning to believe more and more in descartes' "evil genius" theory.

time to keep my head from going through the wall.